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Zero shits given

During the week the full-time estate agent would do the potential buyer tours around the house – pointing out the fantastic job they’ve done of turning the front room into a cosy, comfortable, impeccably designed lounge to relax in.

They’ve waxed lyrical about the extension, which has added space and light to a kitchen and dining area. And they’ve shown off the well-proportioned bedrooms upstairs perfect for a young couple with a growing family.

So far, some shits given.

But at weekends, it’s a different matter. It’s a combination of part time agents who either work every Saturday, or who work two days a month. The role they basically fulfil is ‘opening the door’. They don’t sell the house. They don’t read the faces of the buyers and respond to the delight and intrigue or reassure any frowns.

They literally just stand in the doorway and point people to rooms. My neighbor knows this as he stayed in once to watch them.

In the end, he hosted the tours with the part-timer there purely to tick the box about the buyer coming via them – to take their hefty cut of commission.

Given the figures that estate agents cream off house sales, it’s just insulting to do such a half-arsed, part-time job of it. And you know what? It’s one of those situations where you realise why online equivalents, which don’t take such hits, are booming.

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