Check out this old-timey looking photograph:
It’s supposed to be a picture representation of unemployment.
But honestly the reason this guy is still unemployed might be because he’s a terrible copywriter!!
Look at his sign again. It’s filled with ME ME ME ME.
It’s all about HIM.
It’s trying to use some sob-story to get someone to hire him. As if someone owes him employment just because he has kids.
If someone’s an employer, they don’t care about this…they care about:
“What can YOU do for ME?”
Well, lemme apply some Photoshop and Kopywriting skills to this picture of Old Unemployed Uncle Joe and see if we can help him out:
AHH!! Much better!!
Remember, next time you’re writing something, don’t sit down like Old Unemployed Uncle Joe here and talk about YOURSELF and YOUR problems and what YOU need.
Instead focus on how you can help the other person, and you’ll get a much better response every time.